What Shall My FanFiction Be About, Frodo?
by Snowling
Summary: Frodo helps a misguided author to decide what to write.


Disclaimer: I own none of the Tolkein characters.  
  
A/N: I wrote this cause I needed a break from writing my current fanfic [12 chapters... phew! And there will be more!] This fanfic describes my feelings while thinking about what to write. So far, I have written a parody and my current fanfic, if anyone is interested in reading them. :)   
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
A young girl dressed in Yummy Sushi! pyjamas was sitting in a room. The only light came from the friendly but artificial glow of the computer. She was wondering what type of fanfic to write.   
  
"Damn, I need my muse to help me!" she thought to herself. But how to get to him?   
  
She had an idea. She clicked her heels three times [while wearing her fluffy rabbit slippers]...  
  
And POOF! She had landed in the middle of... Middle-Earth. In Frodo's bedroom, to be more precise.  
  
"What are you doing here?" asked the surprised hobbit, who had just woken up and was getting dressed, while sitting on his bed. He hurriedly buttoned up his shirt.  
  
"Ssh, silence, I'm thinking," replied the young girl. She was sitting in a chair, next to a writing table.   
  
"Who are you?" asked Frodo, his baby blue eyes growing large as he took in her attire.  
  
"My name is Ling to my school friends and family... but you can call me Snowling, Casey, Oh Almighty One or Artemis' Tragedy." The girl [for that is the easiest thing to call her right now] turned to look at the hobbit.  
  
"And you must be Frodo."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Everyone knows who you are love," she replied. With a grand flourish of her hand, she gestured to the window. "I mean, look outside."  
  
Frodo peered outside. There, standing just outside his fence, were millions of fangirls holding big posters saying "Frodo rocks" or "Take off your shirt you sexy hobbit". Sam was standing by the gate authoritatively.   
  
"Eep."  
  
"Aaw, poor Frodo. Yes, I used to be one of them once, until I began to write fanfiction," said the girl rather grandly.  
  
"So, what were you thinking about?" asked Frodo, deciding that the girl was harmless enough. He sat down on the bed again.  
  
"I was thinking about what fanfiction to write about you next actually."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Yes, most of the ideas have already been done... you and Sam getting jiggy with each other, you and Aragorn, you and Legolas..."  
  
"Oh no!" cried Frodo. "You don't mean those awful slash fanfiction writers who insist on making me gay, queer, aroused or homosexual?"  
  
The girl nodded sadly. "Yeah, sorry, but everyone loves those stories. That's what people what to read. It's either that or a Mary-Sue with Legolas..."  
  
Frodo shook his head and sighed.  
  
The girl sat up again.  
"Wait! I have an idea!" A light bulb appeared above her head. She adopted a happy face.  
  
"Well, it'd better be good..." muttered Frodo darkly.  
  
"I could do an Elijah fanfic instead! Hm, now, shall I go for the depressed and suicidal actor side, him falling in love with his childhood friend, him falling in love with a relation of his co-star, or him falling in love with a complete stranger? Ah, the many possibilities!" the girl exclaimed, losing her happy face.  
  
"Who's Elijah?" asked Frodo.  
  
"That oh-so-sexy actor who plays you," said the girl, "I mean duh."   
  
"Hmm, it seems as if you've run out of ideas there," said Frodo, stroking a wispy attempt of a beard.  
  
"No, not yet. My mind has not exhausted all its ideas yet!" cried the girl, leaping up into the air and hitting her head on the ceiling. "Damn these hobbit holes!"  
  
"Why don't I just do a fanfic about Legolas meeting a mysterious elf, or a girl from the 21st century, or Orlando Bloom falling in love with a relative of a co-star or a random stranger?"  
  
"Hey!" exclaimed Frodo. "What about me?"  
  
The girl huffed. "Fine, why don't you think of an idea then?"  
  
"Why don't you just write a parody? Or my diary throughout the journey? Or how about the meaning of true friendship?"  
  
The girl paused for a while, still stooping. A harmonic chorus of angels had sprung from nowhere, and the odd fat cherub fluttered by.  
  
"Er, no."  
  
The music grinded to a halt.  
  
"Why ever not?" asked Frodo indignantly, refusing his ideas to be tossed aside.  
  
"Nobody wants to read cute, sappy stuff," the girl replied, while inspecting her fingernails, "they want some graphic sex or romance or what not."  
  
"Damn," muttered Frodo. "Well, I can't help you any further then. You'll have to go home now."  
  
"No! Godammit! Why can't I think of a truly original idea for a fanfiction, that will turn into a masterpiece and I will get loads of reviews for?!" The girl burst into tears, while Frodo sat motionless. Presently, she looked up.  
  
"Dammit Frodo, why are you absorbing my woes?!"  
  
"Sorry, I'm wearing anti-woe after shave today." He chuckled to himself.   
  
"That's not funny," the girl muttered. Frodo checked himself and stopped laughing.  
"I give up. I don't have any original ideas that do you justice. I may as well go home now." The girl was just about to stand up and click her heels together when Frodo gave in.  
  
"Okay, okay, you can write a romance, stereotypical fanfic about me," he said.   
  
The girl would have jumped for joy, had her head not been touching the ceiling in the first place.  
  
"Thank you, thank you!" she said, hugging the lovely little hobbit.  
  
"Yes, yes, but make sure I get the girl this time, not Legolas!" he said.  
  
The girl laughed. "Of course! Whatever you say oh wonderful hobbit!"  
  
With a big POOF of psychedelic colored smoke, the girl had disappeared and returned to her house. Unfortunately, she left the fangirls behind, who were still chanting "FRODO! FRODO!" outside Bag End.  
  
"Mr. Frodo!" cried Sam, running in.  
"What is the matter?" asked Frodo, just as his tummy growled to remind him it was time for breakfast.  
"There are fangirls waiting outside for you! It's too dangerous! Don't go outside Mr. Frodo, not if you want to come back with all your clothes!"   
  
Frodo sighed. What would he do? But that's another story...  
  
Meanwhile the girl had arrived safely back at home. Ignoring her mom's screams of "DINNER!", she settled down to write her fanfiction.  
  
"What shall I call it?" she muttered. "I know! 'To Protect and To Love'! Perfect!" Grinning like a Cheshire cat, she began to type away.  
  
  
THE END.   
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
A/N: Mwahaha! 


End file.
